24thState

Global Warming WhackJobs Impossible To Satirize

I was in the mall today, and heard a brass quintet playing Christmas songs.  The children were thrilled, especially when they got the chance to ring bells in time with the music. 

One of the songs played was Frosty the Snowman - surely you remember it.

Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob pipe and a button nose
And two eyes made out of coal.
Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale, they say,
He was made of snow but the children
Know how he came to life one day.

The part that caught my ear was the two eyes made of coal.  The image of the melting snowman as a symptom of global warming is a common one, and it's ironic that Frosty would have coal eyes.  Thinking it was clever, but also sad, I looked it up when I get home, and found out I was too late.

There's no point in making fun of the lefties for their coal-bashing.  They've already altered Frosty.

Last Christmas, the NRDC (one of the big green lefty groups) changed Frosty so that he would have two cucumber slices instead of two coal eyes. 

No kidding.  They're going after the snowman.  How much time do these people have on their hands and who is paying them?

Not to fear, sane people of the world.  A commenter came to the rescue, pointing out just how foolish cucumber eyes are on a snowman.  Seeing as cucumbers are a summer vegetable, the only way to get them is to ship them in using fossil fuels to transport them from imported places.

Impossible to mock.  That's how far the Left has gone these days.

Russ And Robin Carnahan Film "Siblings" Commercial

Russ and Robin talk about their election chances, the yacht scandal, Nancy Pelosi, and the Puppy Torture Bill.

 

One Nation Working Together Rally Video

I can't swear to the authenticity of this video, but it seems this might be the original draft for a One Nation Working Together Rallying Video.  I hear they brought in some voiceover talent after the fact to tone it down a bit.

 

That would be Mary Kay Henry, on the board of Families USA, and now president of SEIU.

Top Conspiracy Theories Behind Carnahan Firebombing!

10) Brian Wahby misunderstood a garbled voicemail that promised $10,000 from a Chicago business guy if he would set Russ's campaign on fire.

9) Sean Soendker Nicholson, after a three day binge in the brainwashing room, thought FiredUp was a command, not an official propaganda organ for the Carnahan family.

8) Charlie Dooley.  With his campaign failing miserably, Dooley figured a good arson investigation would help him ask firefighters to give 1% of their salary in donations. 

7) A St Louis City Young Dem got drunk at the Royale and didn't think he could drive home.  He was hanging out at the office trying to eat some Taco Bell to sober up, but they accidentally gave him a Volcano Burrito instead of a Chicken Burrito with sour cream.  That stuff was hot!

6) Lewis Reed and Russ Carnahan, having failed at historical rehabbing and pleasure cruising, decided to take up pottery. They were so engrossed re-enacting the scene from Ghost together, the kiln exploded when they didn't check the temperature.

5) Sara Howard was printing up flyers accusing Ed Martin of being the son of Bull Connor and George Wallace, but after 30,000 copies, the printer caught on fire.  It was a Sabre.

4) Roy Temple decided to perform a live version of the black churches burning radio ad, but it really needed to be done outdoors for safety reasons.

3) Jean Carnahan lights a candle in Russ's office every time she's disappointed in him.  It was only a matter of when, not if.

2) Carnahan let Missourians Organizing for Reform and Empowerment use his offices when they were kicked out of CAMP, and the finance room makes a great hot box.

And the number one conspiracy theory on what really happened at Russ's office.....

1) Those guys who worked for Mayor Slay?  The ones who firebombed Elston McCowan's church van? They did it because they heard Carnahan was going to run for mayor on the Gateway Green ticket.

Very Funny Car Commercial - Cars And Freedom

Breaking: Russ Carnahan Complains Of Ongoing Harassment At Home

Missouri's Third Congressional District was once again the center of a controversial confrontation at the home of a sitting congressman early Thursday morning.

Carnahan press spokesperson Sara Howard was first notified of the incident when Carnahan called her to complain of noises outside his house in the pre-dawn darkness.  Howard immediately called out the Department of Homeland Security SWAT Team and Russ's mother, Jean Carnahan, to investigate the incident and calm the frightened man.

Upon arriving, the SWAT team found no evidence that the perpetrators were still in front of the residence, but an ominous printed package was found in the grass near the front porch.  After speaking with the Congressman for four hours, a press conference was arranged with Nancy Pelosi to ask for fundraising in light of the political intimidation.

Update: Inside sources in the police department state the criminal has not yet been identified, although it is suspected there was only one person, and he or she rode a bike to hide their tracks.  Further details released include a statement the harassment has been going on for some time, and originated in the nation's capital.

Update II:  A photograph of the evidence has been released in hopes of solving this dastardly attempt to frighten the Carnahan family. 

Carnahan's Pet Blog Attacks Congressman Using Racial Undertones

FiredUp's Sean Nicholson is at it again, displaying his predilection for racist thought to attack Republicans.  In this case, he called Blaine Luetkemeyer the "m-word."

It's right there in print.  Nicholson, the covertly paid staffer linked to the Secretary of State and the Missouri Democratic Party has always had a bit of a quick trigger when it comes to calling people racist, is now broadcasting his hate speech across the internetz.

In addition to dredging up an Alfred E Neumann picture (which is so 2000-2008), Nicholson used the m-word, which I'm ashamed to write, is maroon.

There.  I said it.  And in doing so, I've taken away its power.

But Nicholson used it as hate speech.  What's that?  You don't know what a maroon is?   To Wikipedia!

Maroons (from the word marronage or American/Spanish cimarrón: "fugitive, runaway", lit. "living on mountaintops"; from Spanish cima: "top, summit") were runaway slaves in the West Indies, Central America, South America, and North America, who formed independent settlements together.

Maroon is a heck of a lot better known in North America than Macaca (which people still don't know what it means).  And yet Sean feels it's okay to use it to describe a sitting congressman.

What a disgusting racist.  He better never run for Senate in Virginia.

Now some of you may be prepared to write this off.  Maybe you think it's a harmless Bugs Bunny reference.  But that makes it worse.  Bugs Bunny mispronounced moron to make it sound like maroon so he wouldn't get in trouble with the censors.  Sean must know this.  He could have stuck his hands over his ears and used the word moron, but he didn't - he called him a maroon.  And let's not forget that Sean is a paid employee of Jean Carnahan.  No, he knew what he was doing.  He was using third level racism to attempt to call a congressman a runaway slave.

Heaven knows why Sean thinks it's an insult to call someone a slave.  I don't know his intentions, but I don't care. By the new rules of the interwebs - Sean is now and forever branded a racist.

Did Robin Carnahan Try To Upstage Hillary Clinton In Soulard?

Can you remember back to the Democratic primary race in 2008 when Hillary Clinton made news downing a shot of Crown Royal and chugging beers to show she was one of the people?  Let me refresh your memory.

This fancy shot was a crowd pleaser for Pennsylvania, and she went to a win over Obama in the state.

Before I move on, let me just wipe the thought from my head.  Who drinks a shot of blended whiskey?  A shot of Crown Royal is something you do when you're either 17 or it's 3:00 in the morning and that's all you have left.

I know she's from Chicago, but seriously - doesn't anyone drink bourbon anymore?

(Photo Credit AP via CNN’s Political Ticker)

Moving on, a reader sent a picture in the Riverfront Times that was entertaining.  We can't swear to the accuracy of the email, and I'm inclined to believe it's a real photo, but not the person suggested.   I haven't gone down to Mardi Gras in a few years, but I think I've been to that courtyard in the photo.

Maybe Robin remembered the liquid courage photo-op and went for it, or maybe she just needed to blow off some steam after the latest Rasmussen poll showing her losing 8 points since December, but this photograph is one for the campaign trail.

Tell me that doesn't look like Robin Carnahan.

I'm sure the photographer could tell us, but I'm guessing it wasn't really her, seeing as the crowd seems to be holding her up, and there's not a chance that even a drunken Mardi Gras crowd would lift a Carnahan with smiles on their faces.

photo credit Riverfront Times and David Walthall

Healthcare Reform In Video

The time was at hand.  After a long courtship, a series of proposals, review by the lawyers, and the official State ceremony, all that was needed was a final touch - a symbol if you will of the everlasting, unbinding, unbreakable love between the government and its subjects, loving people.

And then Martha Coakley had to go and mess it all up.  I present to you a video representation of the healthcare process.

Clumsy Best Man Ruins Wedding - Watch more Funny Videos

FiredUp Missouri To Merge With Missouri Democratic Party

For immediate release:

In a not-so-surprising merger, the Missouri Democratic Party has decided to combine their communication department directly with the FiredUp Missouri website to consolidate costs and prevent confusion.  Says Ryan Hobart, former and current Robin Carnahan lackey,

"It got real confusing deciding whether to run our stories directly on the blog or as press releases.  This new structure will greatly assist the editorial boards of the Star and the Post Dispatch on what they should and shouldn't say without having to waste time calling for instructions. 

"Our big dollar progressive donors are unhappy with the amount of coverage our new media programs have been getting, so we're simply going to start emailing stories from one central account.  We think it will help us go viral."

University of Missouri professor David Kimball says this makes sense in the context of Missouri politics."Jay Nixon has okay ratings, but the Carnahan family is the one that will be getting all of money in the future.  Their complete outsourcing of their communications strategies to SEIU flunkies has really paid off for them, giving them de facto control of the party structure.  Using FiredUp to write and distribute press releases allows Ryan and Sean to cut their workload in half and deliver one solid pro-Carnahan message to the lickspittles in their email address books. 

An anonymous St Louis county official agrees with Kimball: "It's a brilliant strategy.  When accused of printing Democratic talking points, they can claim it's "independent" progressive research.  When reporters complain about the use of bloggers, they can hide behind the party.  And if Republicans complain, well - what are they going to do?  You can beat black men in St Louis and threaten voters with nightsticks in Philadelphia without the Justice Department getting involved.  What do you think they are going to do with a blog?"

For the moment, the merger will simply consist of cross-posting material.  FiredUp will post MDP press releases, and the MDP will send out blogspots from FiredUp under cover of the MDP.  Later plans include a FiredUp theme park powered by Carnahan wind farms and staffed by SEIU and Missouri ProVote alumni.  The park will be called the Robin Carnahan, Secretary of State Park, and bear her image on every gate, which will allow the state to pay for its upkeep and maintenance.